[Provo]

P-Day and I'm fasting. We went to the Temple with the Chapman's. At the chapel, while waiting for the session, I picked up the middle Book of Mormon from the rack in front of me. Without looking, I ruffled the pages, the opened it--to Abraham 3!! Inadvertently, I had picked up a D&C. My reading proceeded in a very unusual way.



Vs 3. "These are the governing ones...I have set this one (Kolob) to govern all those which belong to the same order as that upon which thou standest."



Vs 6. "...These two facts exist...vs 8. And where these two facts exist, there shall be another fact above them...vs 16. If two things exist, and there be one above the other, there shall be greater things above them... vs 18...If there be two spirits, and one shall be more intelligent than the other...vs 19...there are two spirits, one being more intelligent than the other; there shall be another more intelligent than they; I am the Lord thy God, I am more intelligent than they all...vs 21...my wisdom exceedeth them all, for I rule in the heavens above, and in the earth beneath, in all wisdom and prudence, over all the intelligences...from the beginning..."



I didn't need to go on to vs 25. I never turned 2 pages I knew what He said there: "And we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them." Well, you could have knocked me over. Here's what I received: I am not the smartest. There are people smarter. And the Smartest of All is my Lord and God, my Savior. Who called me on this mission? Me? Bradshaw, Elder Asay? No, He did. Will I leave it? Never. I sat in the temple humbled. I closed the Book of D&C and pondered. Then I opened it again to another place. 2nd Jolt!!



D&C 88:12 "Which light proceedeth forth from the presence of God to fill the immensity of space--" I passed my eyes across the verses and found the subject a continuation of the previous scripture—Abraham 3. Vs 22 "For he who is not able to abide the law of a celestial kingdom cannot abide a celestial glory." This was for me. Continuing. Vs. 33 "For what doth is profit a man if a gift is bestowed upon him, and he receive not the gift? Behold he rejoices not in that which is given unto him, neither rejoices in him who is the giver of the gift." Vs. 35 "That which...abideth not by law, but seeketh to become a law unto itself, and willeth to abide in sin, and altogether abideth in sin, cannot be justified by law, neither by mercy, justice nor judgment. Therefore they must remain filthy still." Vs. 38 "...unto every law there are certain bounds also and conditions." Vs. 39 "All beings who abide not in those conditions are not justified."



And so it goes. I could go clear to verse 62 --> and peel out instructions to me. All these things become my message during 10 minutes in the chapel of the Provo Temple. What's the message? I don't know in full yet. I think I'll learn a lot more in the next few days. I'll ponder this. I know already, however, and this is no surprise, that the Lord lives, he knows I am here, and He knows I hurt. This knowledge humbles me beyond my ability to describe. I'll find my way out of this. And, with His hand in mine, I'll do His will. And so will my sweet Marian.


So I fasted all day. We did the laundry, Marian got her hair done, we shopped. We didn't go to the evening class, which was a warm-up for Monday morning's proselyting go. I need to know a lot more about our role here and our mission expectations before I'll know how to serve God best.