[Tucson]

Back to Tucson. Donna an appointment with Dr. Leavitt to fill her tooth again, Lindsay's B-Day and dinner, back to Tucson to stay with Mary Ellen. This is not a mission. The events are not missionary events. Waiting for a visa at home is the pits. Since this journal is supposed to be a missionary journal, I'm putting it aside until the mission starts up again. So—until further notice!!! Lindsay's B-Day.

[Tucson]

Pumped up the tires on Daddy's car, then bid Mom goodbye again and went to Coolidge. Visited Jerri and Susan, dropped off Donna, came to Tucson, where Amy was involved in a little play at school. Runaway Rabbits! Cute!! Nice to be with Mary Ellen's family.

[Mesa]

I worked until I got the latern's root ball out from under Mom's orange tree—a major job! I've tried that several times before, without success. Also got two palm trees from under there. Also some other little yard things.Read some, the Marian, Sue and Donna got there, with Kimball and Talmage. Visited some, then Susan and the boys left. We kept Donna for overnight. Had dinner at Sizzler (Donna liked that) and got her a permanent. A nice evening with our special daughter.

[Mesa]

Marian at Susan's. Me at Mesa. Pbtttt. I love the lady and hate to be away from her—especially now that we are missionary companions! She's having some time with Donna. I worked in Mom's yard part of the morning, went to Phoenix to the (?????) and got them squared away on getting our pictures in the missionary departures, got some more pictures of the family ordered from Welker(???), visited for a long time at the CES office. Charlie and I had a 1 hour session, then I had a brief time with Lund and a good session with Linc. Lund Johnson will be Mesa Institute director next year, and Lincoln Goodman will be associate area director. I feel good about those appointments. I always felt, or expected, that one day Linc would "fill my shoes." I told him that I didn't pick him, but that if I could have, I would have. Linc and Lund are true friends. It's a lot easier to leave my life-long job and move along knowing that they, and some others I have touched along the way, are in charge and growing with the work.

[Mesa]

Some more stuff around Mom's home. We shopped some. Met the Vanderpools at the drugstore. Mom's trying to trying to run us and showing her forgetfulness in the process. I've determined that it's probably not safe for her to be alone, but she's too stubborn to have it otherwise. After noon Marian and I went to Coolidge where we enjoyed Donna again and Susan's family. Shortly Dave, Mary Ellen and Mike and their families arrived. A nice dinner and enjoy-one-another time (There was an altercation, but I'm not going to expand on that—just try to help resolve it. This is part of the give-and-take of family life.). At the conclusion, we drove back to Mesa, to bring Mom Gibson home, spent the night in Mesa.

[Provo]

Our wedding day, 39 years ago. Marian is lovelier now than ever before. She's beautiful through and through, a lady in every way, and a spiritual force that I can see growing everyday. She is full of surprises and loves me more than I deserve. Far more! 39 years are just the beginning. If I can prove worthy of her, eternity is forever, and with my Marian, it will be worth having.

But today wasn't great, because she's sick. I brought breakfast and dinner to her on a tray. She made it to the cafeteria for lunch, but didn't eat much. She didn't go to her classes. In the evening we went for a drive for a half hour, then called Susan. Marian's worried about Donna. She's not eating and has lost 9 pounds since we left her. Sue says she cries sometimes and misses us. I suppose that's not too big a surprise for a child of 33 to miss her Mom and Dad. It's a lot of years to pattern, then get torn out of the pattern. The rest of the evening was spent with journal, letters and scriptures. This anniversary in Provo. Next anniversary in Portugal—40. Then 41 back with our family! I hope.

[Springfield, MO]

Up real early, visit Bro Anderson's institute class here in Springfield and 2 Early-morning classes in the same building. No comment. As soon as we could, we called Frank Bradshaw and he was in a meeting but asked us to call back in 2 hours and talk to Mack Bowen. That was good news, because I knew then that Frank wasn't going to say "no," but that the message might be positive. When I called Mack 2 hours later, he said that they were trying to get thru to Germany (that is, the missionary committee was) to get Elder Asay's approval forms to return to Arizona. Because we're on a regular mission, we're under the missionary committee, not CES! So, call back in 1 1/2 hours! I called back and Mack and Frank were both on the box, and said the Committee couldn't reach Elder Asay yet, but that if they couldn't break it loose soon, they would fly us back to the MTC. That's OK—better than this never-never-land we find ourselves in at present. Meanwhile thru the day we did our laundry, mailed Donna a package, ate a Taco Bell lunch and Trotter's dinner, studied Portuguese a lot, took two walks, went to Anderson's and presented them with 2 books for thank-you, and generally tried to keep busy and our minds off our problems. Last thing at night Anderson's came by to pick up the car so he can go to Kansas tomorrow for his institute class there.


This is a very difficult experience for me. I know we should return to Arizona, but can't get permission to go. I feel I'm in a similar box to that of my great-grandfather, William Jordan Flake upon arrival at the Little Colorado settlements when he was sent to settle in Arizona. He didn't like the looks of things there, felt it wasn't right for his family, so he didn't stay. Some criticized him for not following counsel. Some said he was an apostate. But he felt he was right so he went to find a better settle-down place. Hence, Snowflake!! I feel that same way. I hope Elder Asay can see us home to Arizona to finish waiting for our visas, and meanwhile we can attend the temple, help our affairs along, counsel with John, squeeze grandkids, etc. In MO, nothing but Portuguese (And I have found—she has found— that I'm not the Portuguese teacher Marian needs!). Even as far back as the MTC will be helpful, for the language will continue to blossom.

[Springfield, MO]

Left early with Bro. Anderson for Williard, nearby, for 2 back-to-back Seminary classes. Back to the apartment and breakfast. We worked through the morning at language and gospel study. I met with Anderson in the afternoon, then we fixed dinner here and spent the evening walking, a little shopping, fixing a box to mail to Donna, and language.

I made the decision that we ought to return to Arizona for now—we've really done all we can do here, and this stuff is real repetitious. In Arizona we can do a lot of needful stuff! I called Frank Bradshaw and he's checking with the mission department—Bro. Eakley. I'll call tomorrow and see if I can get concurrence!!

[Mesa-Coolidge-Mesa]

Had a good night's sleep. That's a good bed. Got Donna's social security changed. Opened a checking account at First Interstate Bank in Chandler for Mike and Sue to use. Took Donna to Coolidge with all her stuff and got her settled, then the car title changed at Florence. We need Arizona licenses on the '87 Century, and Mike's name is on it. A big day!!

[Huntington Beach-Mesa]

Got up early, loaded both cars, left at 6:45 for Mesa. Before leaving I gave Marian a blessing so she would be alright driving so far. She's never had to do this much before, and she was frightened. She'll be fine. We'll stop several times. I also gave Donna a blessing--a father's blessing. She has never "left home" before. Now for the first time, she will be out of our care, out of our keeping. It's a sober moment for me, and doubly or triply so for Marian. For 33 years we have looked after her every need, nearly her every breath. Now another must do it for a time. Marian is suffering guilt feelings that are deep. I try to reassure her, but I know she'll have to work it out herself. For a mother to relinquish her baby--at whatever age--is against her very nature if she's a true mother. Donna is a child. She remains so throughout mortality. I love my sweetheart for feeling so deeply and caring so much. I pray I might find the way and the words to give her the solace she needs. Perhaps President Kempton can do so when he sets her apart!!

Our trip to Mesa was uneventful, thankfully. Marian did great. Both cars were loaded. We could only make room for Donna to sit in one of them. So I rode alone and listened to Hugh Nibley tapes.

Unloaded at mom's in Mesa. Of course, no one here (she's still up in Washington with Gwen) so we just occupied the place. Then we took the '84 Skylark over to John and Barbara. Turned it over to them. They need a second car badly. Spent the evening on Portuguese.

[Huntington Beach]

A regular day, filled with cleaning out cupboards and loading the cars. No Portuguese even! Got ready to take Donna to Coolidge. Marian was in ill health today, but seemed a good deal better tonight.

[Huntington Beach]

A bit of a difficult Sabbath, but it began good enough. Some scripture study, and casual working into the day. No Portuguese--Day of Rest! We got interrupted a couple of times for showing the house to people, but we left for church just after noon, and didn't return 'til almost 6:00. The meetings of the Day were fine. This was testimony meeting. At the start of testimony meeting sharing, Jeff Irvine, 1st Counselor, told everyone we had been called, said we were leaving real soon, so when he gave the meeting to the congregation, we got up first and bore our testimonies. Marian did great. I followed. We said our goodbyes. I told them we were leaving a picture for the missionary chart, so that for the next 18 months they could look at it and say, "who's that?"

We went to the restaurant for dinner, because it was so hectic at home to try to prepare a meal. But the evening was nice.

I'll hate to leave this ward. I didn't think I would. But a half-dozen people have become a little close. Several are saying they'll miss Donna--and they will!!

[Huntington Beach]

Consolidated our money at the bank. Sent Murdock stuff in--complete with more pictures (uggh). Evening we had a date with Laura and Joel McCae--dinner. It was neat. Laura and Joel are very special people. We went to a Black Angus, took Donna too. Then we returned here and talked 'til too late. It was a little tough to say goodbye.

[Huntington Beach]

The days are filled now with errands, preparations, talking of preparations, language sessions, showing the house, etc. Took Donna to the Doctor today to verify and finalize that virus infection that got her to the emergency room Saturday. She's fine. I called Frank Bradshaw, told him of the call to Porto. He of course was surprised. Said he'd check with the missionary committee. Called back later and said they had called us to a leadership mission, and it might really be Porto! But he's calling Elder Asay in Germany to get the straight of it.

[Huntington Beach]

It came! And what a surprise! We were expecting a call to the Portugal Lisbon Mission. The call is to Portugal Porto Mission!! (I'll call Monday and verify that) What joy, relief, thankfulness. First, it is sobering to receive a call from the Prophet to serve in such an important calling. But, I know that behind it is a call from the Lord. This is His Church. His work. I know that as well as I know that I'm alive. To represent Him is more than sobering. Try humbling. Try inadequate. Try I'm-not-ready-for-this, and probably never could be really. I'm His son, I'm His servant, I'm His hireling, even. But I can never really represent Him. But with the call will be my best try. And I know I can do His work if I have His help. So with that assurance, I will go forth.

Marian is equally scared. We'll be a great team, just as we always have.

The condo is being shown intensively now. We have to keep it ready to be seen at any time, and when people are here, we are asked to become scarce. It was a little tough this morning. Donna had a sever abdomen pain—had it all night and yesterday. We took her to the emergency room. Looks like a virus, not appendicitis or worse. That's a blessing.

[Huntington Beach]

Fast Sunday. I called Mom and wished her a happy birthday. She’s still at Gwen’s in Sequim, Washington. Donna and I went to the meetings at the Ward. John and his family stayed ‘til noon, then left for home. We spent a quiet, restful evening.

I think we’ve decided to sell the home here, and be done with it. The peace of mind will mean a lot, and we didn’t come here to become real estate tycoons, anyway.

[Mesa-Coolidge-Mesa]

With my sad ankles, and being far from our Sacrament meeting, we just didn't bring church clothes, hence we stayed home. Reading, writing and listening to Christmas music. We opened personal gifts and Santa had a couple of things for Donna. We left at 11:00 to go to Coolidge—Mike and Jerri’s place first. We saw their gifts and it’s always neat to talk with Jerri and Mike. On to Susan’s at 1:00 and enjoy their family and Christmas. Soon all the families began arriving and finally at 4:00 we all ate. Great food, as always. Every one of our family was present—all 40 of us. Before we opened the presents—each family drew the name of another family—we all sat down and I made our grand announcement. “It appears we will receive a call to a mission in Portugal.” Looks of wonderment, joy, surprise, shock, etc!! But, everyone positive, all supportive. We explained the care of Donna and asked all for their support of Susan and Larry in that project. No problem!! We told how the notice had come, and that a call still was not official. Then we all opened presents. I got some nice stuff, but as always, the joy that came to me was in seeing my family together, watching their faces, and enjoying their company. Christmas is 90% children’s faces. I reserve my adoration of the savior for another time. Our family has the best children’s faces anyplace. The classic comment of the day came from Lindsay, when she turned to me and said, “But who will tend us?” (Until these last 4 months, Marian has always been available when the kids got sick, and our Chandler place was always a drop-off point for the family when Moms and Parents went shopping or to meetings; hence Lindsay’s memory of a cozy and secure backup system.) When we left finally for home at Mesa (my Mom’s), we left with real torn feelings. It seems something is started now that will not stop. With the completion of this family meeting, the “ifs” and “what-ifs” are over. If the Lord will have us, our faces are now set for His call to Portugal. Lots remains to be done, but our response to a call now can be 100% “I’ll Go where…” Our family is with us. That was the only hurdle we felt needed clearing. (What other hurdle could there be? All others are secondary. With the Lord’s help now, we can accomplish whatever He asks.)

Go to Original Journal pages.

[Mesa-Coolidge-Mesa]

Still at Mom’s, a slow morning. Some shopping with Marian. Afternoon I went to Dr. Al Fulkerson and had the skin cancers removed from my face. He burns them off with liquid nitrogen. Then down to Coolidge to Taylor’s birthday party. Nice bunch there. All the kids seemed glad to see us, Susan was at her usual best. When Larry got home later we all had stuffed cabbage for dinner—Taylor’s choice—and cherry cheesecake for dessert—also his choice.

We sat Larry and Susan down and asked them if they’d take charge of Donna for 18 months. It was a lot to ask, but of course they said “yes”. They talked of how they had been thinking of adding a 3^rd bathroom anyway. Also at Coolidge is Mike and Jerry’s family for more support and “resting off” times. John and Barb 45 minutes away, John and Mary Ellen 1 hour away, Peggy and David 1 hour and a quarter away. They think it’ll work out fine. I do, too, although it’s hard asking even then to take the burden which Marian and I have always assumed was ours alone. Donna has always been one of the most important stewardships we've had—maybe the most important! We never questioned why the Lord chose us for this challenging, humbling, wonderful experience. It’s often been hard. It’s sometimes been a thing you just grit your teeth and do your best. But it’s always been an honor!! And now, we must ask someone else to share this with us. Well, there is no one better to ask than Susan and Larry, although we know there are 4 other families able and willing, and could do equally well. I thank the Lord for them all!

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[Mesa-Tucson-Mesa]

Went to the area office and visited with Charlie Beckert for an hour. So good to be back at the old haunt. Good to chat with old associates. I saw Joleen Mason, our secretary, too. She’s a good friend. Then return to Marian and leave for Tucson. A good ride down there, with a little construction delay by Casa Grande for repaving. I took Donna to her dental appointment with Dr. Lew Leavitt in the afternoon, while Marian, the little girls, and Mary Ellen went shopping. Donna had her teeth cleaned and the upper left wisdom tooth pulled. It needed to come out because of all the soreness and pain it’s been giving her. Now she’s got a real sore mouth. We hurried over late afternoon to see the new home John and Mary Ellen are buying in NW Tucson. Looks great! Evening and Dinner with David and Peggy and their family. That’s such a neat little family—so loving and so fun. Peggy’s a great young woman and I love her. It was late when we started home but we were in no hurry.

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[Huntington Beach]

First thing this morning I called CES in Salt Lake City. I talked to Frank Bradshaw, Zone Administrator for Europe to see what intelligence he could bring to bear on this. He was fairly helpful. He said several months ago in a meeting with the Area Presidency over Europe in Germany, he was asked if CES had someone who could go to Portugal. The need there, he said, is two-fold: The Church is relatively new there, and growing rapidly. Leadership is a real problem. And the education is lagging—CES that is—and needs some help. A quick computer check revealed my old mission and my proximity to retirement age. Voilà!

Frank says it is a mission call, not a CES move. We would go for 18 months, go thru the MTC, work under the mission president, etc. But also work closely with CES. We are needed as soon as we can get there (but must be called first), our contract with CES would be paid out thru August, then we’d revert to retirement status. The department will move our stuff back to Tucson and we’ll store it. We must sell our HB Home.

So, the rest of the day was talk and think and talk and ponder and wonder and talk. The crux of our decision-making is to be seen next Sunday when we meet with our family at Coolidge for Christmas. Then we’ll see if we can get coverage for Donna. Then we’ll call president back and give him our answer.

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